my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
