Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
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