All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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