I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
