A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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