we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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