He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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