Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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