white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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