I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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