You're so nebulous sometimes
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
