So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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