just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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