2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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