Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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