I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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