she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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