he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
