Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
