Where did you get a picture of my penis
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
