I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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