This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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