Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
