i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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