based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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