hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
