You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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