Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
So here I am, sexting at work.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
