My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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