cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
