I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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