Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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