Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The air was thick with penises
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
