Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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