so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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