Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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