I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
