i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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