I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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