yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
