Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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