Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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