Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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