He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
