So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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