There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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