She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
