I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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