I will die if light touches me.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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