awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
