STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
