Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I think I sprained my soul last night
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
