i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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