No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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