I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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