I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
