I think my vagina is haunted
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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