they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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