careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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