There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
