so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
