I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
