Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
